Land Locked Again

I am not sure why I keep going back to Land Locked. It is just painful and a wee bit outside my newbie box. I am, however,  a glutton for punishment, a long time sufferer of stupid man syndrome, a pig headed fool who refuses to let a few trails in the woods defeat me, and a a typical example of masculine middle age misconception.
Anyway, Heather saw a post of the NEMBA FB page - I refuse to participate in FB's predatory business practices and general toxic void, but am glad to benefit from other's decision to do so - that there was going to be an "easy" ride at Land Locked. I was a little desperate for a ride - or really any outside adventure - so I jumped at the chance.
Aside from the fact that even an "easy" ride at Land Locked is on the very edge of my box, I also was not driving our tiny, deluding our selves into feeling better about driving a monster truck, non-toy transport capable, car. I "knew" that I could fit my bike with its giant 29" trail tires into the sloped back of a car that can barely fit four adults.... When reality hit, I discovered an old strap-on back rack that has been living in our garage, unused, for close to a decade. It was a sign... I could turn the Ionq into a toy carrier!!! It was a lose fit and one of the pads rested on some glass, and the top clips were secured under the glass lip of the hatch, but the bike held and I could get to the ride without going on the highway.
The ride started out great. The pace didn't seem too fast, the guy leading the ride had an inhaler.... Then came the rock wall. We were all warned about the wall. A few people walked the wall. I was going to conquer the wall.... It didn't look big. My front tired cleared it as planned; the back tire cleared it over my head. I'm not certain what happened, but the ground was pretty soft. Eyewitness accounts say that I was a little too far forward and that perhaps I didn't have enough momentum to keep the front tire moving after it hit the bottom of the drop on the back side of the wall....
This was 20 minutes into the ride and, aside from a little bit of pain where I jammed my hand into the ground, I was fine... No reason not to keep riding....
For a while the riding was great. The trails were flowing and I was in a groove. The pace seemed fast, but comfortable. I was shifting for the uphills with no problems, clearing obstacles like a pro, making tight turns, and nailing switchbacks. It was great fun.
About half way through the ride I did misjudge the distance between two trees and clipped one side of the handlebars. The unexpected turn a rapid deceleration was more embarrassing than painful.
Then we hit Milk Crate.... I was less pooped this time than last time, but it was still rough going. I made more of the gnarly turns and quick up downs. I'd say I managed to ride 90% - OK maybe 80% - of the trail without walking. There was one turn where I totally missed the line. I went too wide and couldn't easily make the turn, so I jammed my foot into the ground to force the bike back into the trail.... It hurt, but you don't need a heel to ride....
After Milk Crate, I thought we were done. I knew I was just about out of gas. I forgot that the only way back to the parking lot from the end of Milk Crate was across the Three Bridges.... The bridges themselves are not so bad - well except for the section where there is a very narrow passage between two trees in the gap between two of the bridges. It is really the hills that hurt. It was getting dark; I was feeling tired; I made the gap, but not on a line that I believed would get me across the last bridge.... So, I stopped and walked the bridge.
That was my breaking point. I was totally in my head at the bottom of a series of fairly steep climbs with some rough switchbacks and out of gas.... Fortunately, the sweep for the ride was patient and encouraging. I walked the first short climb and got back on the bike. I sucked wind the entire way up and out of the woods, but I made it - not certain that my heart was not going to just quit on me before I could get back to the parking lot for some pizza - but I made it.
The ride back to the cars was mostly down hill on mild terrain, so that was a nice chance to rest. When I got back to the cars, I had recovered a little. I had enough energy to eat some pizza and be social. Which was better than the last two times I had ridden Land Locked.... I was not certain that I hadn't done permanent damage to my heel, shoulder, or heart, but that didn't really matter. I improved and had fun doing it.
Maybe next time, I will find someone to go at my pace. Better yet, I'll just keep getting better....