What Have I Done?

It is sort of amazing how much I mange to actually do given the amount of panic and anxiety I inflict upon myself on a regular basis.
I think it is fairly well know that I am in near constant fear of having a heart attack. In fact, there have been several recent bike outings where I have been nearly paralyzed by the readings of my activity tracker. It says I did a strenuous workout, or that my heart rate strayed above the normal max rate for a male my age, and I seriously question my fitness to drive home without keeling over. Then I spend several days waiting to keel over. This is true even if I finish the ride feeling totally gassed or just moderately tired. I also worry about being poisoned by random toxins just free floating in the environment and an array of slowly developing chronic and totally deadly ailments (cancer, etc.). These are just on top of the standard daily anxieties caused by daily life and chronic low self-esteem.
The fears do not stay contained to my own body. I also spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about Bug's health. I'm pretty sure I woke up several times a night to check on her for her first two years of life because of SIDs. I still worry about her suffering a dry drowning incident after she goes swimming.
I do not share any of these fears with her. My anxieties have no place in the life of a child. I'm sure she will develop her own set of crazy.
This is a long intro to a very short story.....
Today was supposed to be a NEMBA kids ride and Bug really wanted to go because it was going to be her third ride - T-shirt!!! So we get up, see that it is a beautiful day, pack the truck up, and head out. The ride was in Ipswich which is about 40 minutes away, so we made sure we had plenty of time to get there.
When we arrive at the designated meeting spot, we discover a paucity of cars. There are maybe four cars in the lot and none of them have bikes on them. They belong to the group of people playing ball on the field.
Confused, I call Heather to see if she can check the NEMBA site. While I am calling, Bug hops out of the car and heads into the field to start doing cartwheels and other tricks.
It turns out that Ipswich was recently designated a high EEE area and that out of caution NEMBA cancelled the ride. H also tells me that they had done arial spraying and that the town had not really done much to curtail activities....
Now I have to do a quick risk assessment and figure out what Bug and I should do. My first thought is to head back to our area and find someplace near there to ride. But, she is already out of the car.... It is mid-morning and we have commercial strength bug spray and are wearing long sleeves and she has long pants on.... She really is not ready to get back in the car after spending nearly an hour driving and spend another hour in the car.... There are people out on the baseball diamond and a guy riding a horse... There is no standing water....
We decide that a short ride followed by ice cream is the plan.
The bike ride is short and reasonably fun. There do not seem to be any bugs.
The ice cream place serves good quality ice cream and has several customers and no bugs.
We get home and unpack the car and Bug starts itching the back of her leg.... She got bitten....
Since then, I spent a lot of energy worrying. I, of course, spent an inordinate amount of time on the internet researching EEE. It is apparently fairly rare in humans, and often does not cause much more than mild flu-like symptoms. Except for the cases where it doesn't and results in neurological damage or death.
Also, Ipswich was designated as a high EEE area not because anyone there had actually gotten EEE or because any birds or mosquitoes in in the area had tested positive for EEE, but because one person who had traveled through Ipswich had contracted it.
None of this is going to help me sleep or feel better about my decision this morning. It is going to be a long week. It can take up to ten days for symptoms to show..... It is more likely that I will get sick from lack of sleep and stress than that Bug will even get the sniffles. It is more likely that she will sprain or break something doing gymnastics or dance.
None of that matters because my anxiety and fear are not rational. I will, however, get through and not let her know because that is what needs to be done. Life goes on, bills get paid, children are loved and made to feel safe.